The Geek and The Grouch
by Vicky Ocean
Summary: Set in an AU of the Moebius AU, where the Stargate is found in Giza. Geeky Doctor Carter struggles to fit in the military environment of the SGC and finds an unlikely friend in the grouchy Colonel O'Neill. It's not as silly as it sounds. I promise.
1. Chapter 1

**The Geek and The Grouch**

**Summary-** Set in an AU of the Moebius AU, where the Stargate is found in Giza. Geeky Doctor Carter struggles to fit in the military environment of the SGC and finds an unlikely friend in the grouchy Colonel O'Neill. It's not as silly as it sounds. I promise.

**A/N- **Yes, I know I still have other fics I need to finish. Besides real life not allowing me much time to write, I've had a bit of writers block with my other stories. I apologise for leaving you hanging on those, but I hope you feel the same way that I do that writing _something_ is better than _nothing_.

**

* * *

****First Sight**

The first time Sam saw him was the first time she saw the Stargate. Not an easy moment to forget.

He stood at the base of the ramp, his arms nonchalantly crossed over his chest, like it was the most normal thing in the world to be going through a wormhole to another planet. God, she wished she could be down there with him. Though he'd probably hate her as much as she had heard he hated Doctor Jackson.

"SG-1 is just about to head out," General Hammond from behind her. Sam reluctantly pulled her gaze from the Stargate and the enigmatic man in the Gate Room and turned her attention to the general. "You can watch if you'd like, Doctor Carter."

"Oh, could I?" She couldn't keep the excitement out of her voice.

He smiled indulgently, "Of course."

"Yeah, it's really cool," Doctor McKay put in, the mocking tone in his voice evident. "Steam comes out of it and everything."

She blushed a little, embarrassed at appearing overly excited at what was an ordinary event at Stargate Command. She quickly turned back to the window of the Control Room to see the rest of SG-1 entered the Gate Room.

"Dial the gate," Hammond told the technician before leaning down to speak into the microphone. "SG-1, you have a go."

Colonel O'Neill turned and gave a rakish two fingered salute to the General.

The wormhole splashed out and she watched in awe as the event horizon formed. Sam couldn't contain her gasp. "My God, you can actually see the fluctuations in the event horizon."

"Pretty neat isn't?" Doctor McKay said as his hand settled entirely too low on her back, before drifting even lower. "I could give you a closer look later."

Sam was so entranced be the scene below that she didn't even think to be mortified and step out of his lecherous reach. Her eyes were glued to Colonel O'Neill as he brought his gun to a ready position and casually walked through the event horizon, the rest of his team following behind him.

Sam didn't know if she'd ever envied four people so much before.

* * *

The first time Jack saw her was in the commissary. There weren't many women on base so she kinda stuck out despite her tortoiseshell cat-eyed glasses and the dowdy way she dressed.

He was standing in the chow line. She was walking toward the tables carrying a tray laden with her lunch when a Marine bumped into her causing the parfait glass of blue jello to tip over the edge and crash down on the cement floor. She stood transfixed, the tray still in her hands, staring down at the mess of glass and blue gelatin. The Marine continued walking to a table where his friends were sitting. They laughed, casting amused glances at the geek woman. She sat her tray down and used her napkin to pick up the mess.

When he got to the dessert cabinet Jack pulled out serving of blue jello in addition to his pie. As he walked past her table he set it down in front of her, not even bothering to glance at her. He could feel her eyes boring into her back, but he didn't turn around. He didn't head to his usual table on the opposite side of the commissary either. Instead he sat near the door waiting for the group of Marines to pass on their way out. When they walked by Jack looked up from the report he'd been reading and called out, "Sergeant Brooks?"

The man stopped, "Yes, sir?"

"Report to my office at 1400."

Brooks responded with a swift, "Yes, sir," but he looked confused. No doubt he'd already forgotten about the incident or wasn't expecting someone to call him on it.

"You can go," Jack dismissed him and returned his concentration to his report.

A while later Jack saw a brown blob hovering in the periphery of his vision. He pretended to ignore her, but subtly flicked his eyes in that direction. Sure enough, there was the geek woman nervously twisting the bottom of her ugly brown sweater in her hands and chewing on her bottom lip, incisiveness written all over her face. He continued to ignore her and it wasn't long before she fled without uttering her thanks or whatever she had wanted to prattle on about. Jack didn't like the geeks anymore than Brooks, but he couldn't stand a bully.


	2. Chapter 2

Jack couldn't say he'd been _listening_ to Doctor McKay for well over and hour, but he could say Doctor McKay had been _talking_ for well over an hour. Even Daniel's eyes seemed glazed over, though Jack supposed astrophysics or what ever McKay was babbling about wasn't the kind of geek talk the archeologist enjoyed. Even though Jack and several of the other SG team commanders were forced to suffer along with him, it was nice to see Daniel get a dose of his own medicine.

There was a snore from his right and Jack elbowed Kawalsky to wake him up. Misery loves company. No way Jack would let Kawalsky enjoy a nap if he couldn't have one. With that in mind he kicked Dixon under the table. The man across from him couldn't have possibly been reading that report in front of him with his eyes closed.

"Any questions?"

Everyone shifted and yawned as they turned their attention back to Doctor McKay.

Kawalsky asked the question that was on everyone's minds, "Uh, yeah, what was the point of this briefing again?"

"You might know if you listened to me instead of taking a snooze," McKay snarked back.

Jack really didn't want to listen to McKay and Kawalsky get into it yet again, so he tried to diffuse them before they could really get started. "How about you bottom line it for us, McKay?"

"Were any of you people listening?"

"We were listening," Kawalsky told him. "But all we heard was you yakking about how wonderful you were for doing what ever it is you brought us hear to brief us on. We've wasted an hour and a half so you could stroke your own ego."

"I don't have to put up with this!"

"Kawalsky, McKay," Jack said in warning. "Stand down. Both of you." They both gave each other a surly look but the kept silent.

"Um, excuse me, Colonel O'Neill?"

Jack turned his attention to the woman that had timidly spoken. It was the geek woman that had the Jell-o issue in mess the other day. She had come in with McKay carrying his files. She'd spent the briefing unobtrusively lurking in the corner of the room while McKay had talked. He'd almost forgotten she was there. "You got something to say?"

She hesitantly stepped forward, wringing her hands, "Um, sir, I believe the point of the briefing was to inform you that the program that calculates the stellar drift between planets with Stargates has been upgraded and it should give us six to eight addresses a month instead of the two or three it has been up until now."

"Thank you," Jack told her. "A geek that can speak succinctly. Who are you?"

"I'm-"

McKay stepped up beside her, his hand snaking up to rest on her shoulder. "She's my new assistant, Samantha Carter."

"I see." Jack was a little amused to see her shake off his hand and take a step away from him. He pushed up from his chair and began collecting his things. "In the future, McKay, when you have something that isn't directly related to a mission do ya think you could have Miss Carter give us a brief heads up or type up a memo? We all know how smart you are you are. You don't have to put us to sleep to prove it. We really don't care how all this works as long as it does." He gestured out the window to the Stargate below. "That's why the Air Force hired you. To make it work."

He started to make his way out of the briefing room when he heard a small voice behind him, "It's actually Doctor Carter, sir."

"I'll try to remember that," Jack glanced back over his shoulder as he left.

Kawalsky was right behind him, but paused long enough to tell her, "At least you're a little easier on the eyes than McKay."

* * *

Sam stared after Major Kawalsky, wondering if that was really a compliment or not.

"Hi."

She turned around to see Doctor Jackson standing behind her. "Hi."

"I don't think we've met. I'm Daniel Jackson," he said offering his hand to shake.

She shook it enthusiastically and smiled at him, "Yes, I know. Everyone around here knows who you are, Doctor Jackson. You're the one who made the Stargate work."

"I didn't really do a whole lot," he shifted uncomfortably and pushed his glasses up his nose. "I'm sure someone would have figured it out eventually."

"Of course I would have," McKay interrupted. He handed Sam the stack of folders she had carried in. "If you'll excuse us, Doctor Jackson. We have work to do."

"Yeah, me too. It was nice to meet you, Doctor Carter. Maybe we could get lunch some time?"

"I'd like that. Well, I'd better be going," she nodded in the direction of Doctor McKay already heading out the door.

"See you around."

"Bye."

"Are you coming?" McKay, already halfway down the hall, demanded

"Yes, Doctor McKay." She hurried after him.

"You know Doctor Jackson is married, don't you?" he asked when she had caught up.

"Everyone knows that. She was taken over by a goa'uld," Sam replied wondering what the point his question was.

"Then maybe you shouldn't flirt with him like that."

Sam stopped in the middle of the hallway. "I was NOT flirting with him. He merely introduced himself."

"Whatever you say, " he said as he continued to walk to the elevator.

Sam gritted her teeth and followed after him. She really didn't know how much more she could take of the arrogant and increasingly irritating man.

* * *

"This is totally unbelievable! You are a small and pathetic man! That was my updated stellar drift program and _you_ know it! Now, just because my reproductive organs are on the inside instead of the outside doesn't …"

"Um, whom are you talking to?"

Blood surged to her face as Sam spun around to see Colonel O'Neill standing in the doorway of the lab. "Oh, God." She couldn't believe that anyone had heard that least of all _him_. "Oh, God."

"Honestly, I'd be a little freaked out if your reproductive organs were on the outside, Doctor," he said motioning with the folder in his hand toward the area of her reproductive organ hidden by her brown plaid skirt.

He was smiling. She'd never seen him smile before, though actually it wasn't really a smile. It was more of a mocking smirk. She hated that it was directed at her.

"Oh, God," she turned her back to him, hoping she'd just imagined him there.

He tapped her on the shoulder with his folder. "Doctor Carter?"

"Please be a delusion."

"Not a delusion, Doc."

She turned around slowly, her cheeks still a bright red, "I can't believe you heard that."

"I can't believe you came up with that. You might want to keep working on the speech a bit before you go telling McKay off."

"I'll do that, Colonel," she cleared her throat and tried to regain some of her composure. "Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah, could you make sure the 'small and pathetic man' gets this?" he asked handing her the folder he'd brought with him.

"Of course. Anything else?"

"Yeah, give me a call before give McKay that speech. I'd like to see that. I could probably sell tickets."

She glared at him, meeting his mocking eyes, "I'll be sure to do that, Colonel. Perhaps we could have an assembly in the Gate Room."

A little of the ridicule left his expression. "Good idea, Doctor." With that he turned to go, but she called him back. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to thank you for the Jell-o the other day. That was very nice of you."

"Yeah, well, let's just not let that get out."


	3. Chapter 3

Just a teeny-weeny update to tide you over. I hope to have more up soon.

RL has been insanely busy lately so bear with me please.

* * *

In the months that followed, Sam seemed to have found a comfortable niche at the SGC. She had come to maintain a delicate balance in Cheyenne Mountain. None of the military personnel really cared for Doctor McKay. As such her job was to run interference between the SG teams and the head of the science department. Her father was a Air Force general and growing up in that environment had prepared her well for dealing with the military personnel. Honestly, she really thought that they would have preferred anyone over McKay.

It also helped her position considerably that the airmen and marines followed Colonel O'Neill's example and grudgingly tolerated her even though they still looked on her as a geek. It didn't mean she wasn't immune to the Colonel's barbs and acerbic tongue, but no one was. He only seemed to get really irritated with her if she started to explain something in more detail than she was interested in. He'd cut her off with a sharp bark of, "Carter!" and then she would try be as succinct as she could.

She found a real friend in Daniel Jackson. They had the same passionate curiosity albeit in different fields. They were both outsiders, not really fitting in with the military environment. Colonel O'Neill had little patience for any scientist, but he had even less for Daniel. She thought it was very strange and couldn't understand how he could bear to be on the colonel's team.

One day after she witnessed Colonel O'Neill give him a particularly harsh berating, she finally asked, "Why do you let him treat you like that?"

"It's kind of a long story," he replied.

Daniel was silent for a long time and she thought he wasn't going to explain. An uncomfortable silence fell over them. He bowed his head studying his coffee cup intently. His shaggy hair covered his face and after a while he began to speak. "He had a son that accidentally killed himself with Jack's gun. From what I've heard, he withdrew into himself and his marriage fell apart. He went on the first Stargate mission because he hoped it would be a suicide mission. Somewhere along the way, he decided he wanted to live again. It had a lot to do with Skaara. They formed a really close bond. I think he reminded him a lot of his son. After the mission Jack was planning on going back and working to put his marriage back together. When he got home, he found out that his wife had killed herself the same gun."

"Oh my God," Sam gasped. "That poor man. It still doesn't explain why he treats you like he does."

"If I had found out a way to get back sooner, Jack might be rebuilding his life. He blames me."

"That's not fair. I'm sure you did everything you could."

"I blame myself too." Daniel looked up at her, self recrimination clear on his face. "If I hadn't been so absorbed into seeing and studying ancient Egypt come to life, I might have been able to get them back a little more quickly. She died only a day before we came back. "

They settled into silence again. Sam tried to process what she had just learned about Colonel O'Neill. Some of his tendencies made a little more sense now, but he was still quite an enigma to her. She couldn't help but be fascinated by him. She had always loved puzzles.

"You don't have to stay on SG-1, Daniel. There are other teams…"

"Jack will do whatever it takes to get Sha're and Skaara back. Whether he wants to admit it or like it, I can help him."

* * *

"Doctor Carter."

Sam, startled by the deep voice, looked up from her computer screen. The Jaffa, Teal'c, stood in the doorway of her lab. After their initial meeting, he had only spoken to him on a couple of occasions at the briefings he had attended. There were tons of things she would have loved to ask him, but his dour expression and rather forbidding presence was intimidating.

She smiled tentatively at him. "Can I do something for you, Teal'c?"

"O'Neill says I must share my knowledge of Goa'uld technology with you."

"Uh, um, okay. But I thought you were working with Doctor McKay on that."

"I threatened Doctor McKay with bodily harm. O'Neill suggested speaking with you would not be as intolerable."

"I hope not."

"I am certain that there are very few as intolerable as Doctor MacKay."

After that they met regularly whenever SG-1 was onworld. Daniel frequently joined their discussions and they collaborated quite well over the various artifacts and technologies the SG teams brought back. It was so much interesting the menial tasks in the labs that Doctor McKay had originally assigned to her. It wasn't quite as exciting as going off world, but it was close.

Teal'c invited her to join him for lunch quite often. Sam could empathize how lonely it must be for him to be so completely uprooted from all he knew. She had gone through a similar experience every time her father was moved to a different base. Teal'c never said much as they ate and Sam found herself blathering on more than usual in an attempt to fill the silence. It didn't seem to bother him though.. Sometimes she got the feeling he was rather amused by her rambling, but his expression never gave it way.


End file.
